Voices in my Head
by bacta.junkie
Summary: For as long as Draco Malfoy could remember, there had been four voices in his head, governing his every action. This was my first story ever published, which I deleted a few months back for personal reasons. Yes, I know it sucks. Yes, I know it's in first person. Read it anyway! :D


**This was my very first story, which I deleted several months ago for personal reasons. Anyway, it's back, I know it sucks, I know it's in first person, but it's silly and it's cute and read it anyway because you love me.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter blah blah blah blah**

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Voices in my head

I woke up that morning with a blistering headache. _You should know better than to get drunk on a Monday evening_, Conscience said. _I'm sorry; I couldn't get her out of my head, and it was the only thing I could think to do. Merlin that woman is going to be the death of me, _I reasoned.

For as long as I could remember, there had been four voices in my head, governing everything I said and did. There was Reason, always the voice of logic, there to provide advice which I seldom followed. There was Emotion, there to tell me my feelings. I usually ignored him. There was my Conscience, which told me the difference between right and wrong, and scolded me when I did bad things. He'd been popping up startlingly often lately. And there was my only friend, Self-Preservation. He told me what to do to keep myself from looking like an idiot in front of my associates. He'd gotten me out of a number of tight spots.

But anyway.

_What if you had said something stupid in your drunken state? _argued Self-Preservation. _It didn't matter at the time. It was a poor decision, and it won't happen again, _retorted Reason.

I dressed myself for breakfast, and took a swig of the hangover cure I kept in the chest at the foot of my bed. I took a look in the mirror. _Perfect, as always,_ I thought to myself. _You're such an ass,_ Conscience told me. _It's only true,_ said Emotion.

I reached my seat of the Slytherin table. As the oldest student in the house, I got the seat at the head of the table. I grabbed the nearest edible substance and stuffed it into my face in the most dignified way possible. As I chewed, I scanned the table. Everyone was avoiding my eye contact, as if meeting my gaze would cause them to burst into flames. It had been like that the entire year. Nobody wanted to associate with me, or talk to me, or anything. Switching sides does that to a person. The Slytherins resented me for joining the Order at the last minute and everyone else still thought I did it just to save my own ass. Technically, they both had legitimate reasons to hate me, since neither reason was incorrect or unjustified. However, it would've been nice to have had even one friend, one at all. Hell, even Granger would've been nice at that point. Oh, well. Can't blame a guy for trying.

_When that "trying" involves murder, racism, and genocide, then yes, you can, _taunted Reason. _Quiet, you_, I retorted.

I scanned the rest of the room. My eyes fell to the only person who would still talk to me. Loony Lovegood. She was insane, she never made any bloody sense, and she always looked ridiculous.

And I was in love with her.

It was kind of hard not to be, at this point. As I said, she was the only person who would still talk to me. All I was to her was rude, and she clung to me and followed me and told me nice things about my hair and babbled about blithering humdingers or some nonsense. She was so nice to me, to everyone, and I was just some hardass who refused to even hold a civil conversation with her. Why was I such an asshole?

And why was she so nice to me?

And why couldn't I get her out of my head?!

_You're in love with her, _said Emotion. _Tell her how you feel._

_NO! _said Self-Preservation. _I refuse to sacrifice my reputation for some little wacko!_

_Now, you don't really mean that. She's quite nice. And look how pretty she is today, _commented Conscience.

I had to admit, she did look quite nice. The radish earrings really tied the outfit together, and the light of the rising sun in the ceiling of the Great Hall really reflected off of her silky platinum hair-

_WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING?!_ My own voice shouted into my head. _GET OUT OF MY HEAD, YOU SILLLY GIRL!_

_At least try to be civil to her, _said Reason, surprisingly._ Stop treating her like crap. You owe her that much. She deserves that much._

_She deserves so much better,_ I thought absentmindedly. I banged my head against the table. People started looking at me funny.

_Just like those looks you and everyone else give to Luna,_ my Conscience scolded.

_Just talk to her,_ said Reason.

_You love her, dammit! Tell her how you feel! _screamed Emotion.

"_EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!"_ I shouted.

Out loud.

_FUCK_, I thought in my head, thankfully.

_Run, you idiot,_ said Self-Preservation.

"I gotta go," I muttered to nobody in particular, sprinting out of the room.

I got halfway down the hall before I heard the door open behind me and footsteps following me. I knew immediately who it was. Who else would follow me out the door after something like that?

"Draco, what just happened?" She asked me.

_I love you, and the voices in my head are driving me insane arguing whether to tell you,_ I thought to myself.  
"Nothing happened, I just got a little frustrated from the noise. I woke up this morning with a terrible headache," I told her calmly, without turning around to face her. It was the truth. "Why do you care?"

"Because I care about you, Draco," She said softly. I almost didn't hear it. My chest fluttered when she said the words. "And because I know that's a lie."

I turned around. Her eyes stared into my soul. _Chalk up yet another thing you're in love with about her, _Emotion pointed out. _Quiet, you_, I retorted.

"How would you know? You barely know me. I haven't said a single nice thing to you since we met, years ago. How would you know anything about me?" _Why are you so nice to me?_ I wanted to ask.

"You're a very enigmatic person, Draco, yet I know everything about you. I can't stop noticing little things about you. I don't know why, but I can't seem to get you out of my head." Wait, did she just…? No, she didn't, she couldn't…

"Luna, I-"

"Quiet, you."

Before I knew it, she was kissing me.

_Merlin, she's kissing me!_ I thought. _Push her away! You hate her! Get out of here!_ Screamed Self-Preservation. _Quiet, you,_ said Emotion.

In the split second between kisses, I managed to murmur "I love you," to which I received in the next brief respite, "I know. I love you too." I immediately pressed my lips back to hers with a renewed excitement.

For the first time in my entire life, all the voices were silent. And then,

_If I make all of them silent, maybe I should kiss you more often, _said a new, fifth voice, a voice that was clearly hers.

_Quiet, you._

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**Thanks for reading :D Please review!**


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